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My Grandma Sommer passed away on May 20.

I’m thankful that she didn’t suffer a long illness, and that she was able to live independently in her own apartment until she suffered a heart attack in early May. I’m thankful for all the school programs, recitals, cross country and track meets, concerts and church programs that Grandma attended. I always knew she was proud of me and that she accepted me and loved me unconditionally. For example, I think she was the most excited and unphased of anyone when Brian and I announced in her living room that we were going to get married.

I enjoyed getting her cards and letters, which she thoughtfully selected and wrote frequently, and I enjoyed writing back. She would often include clippings about topics related to my life and interests; she enjoyed getting maps and pictures from places I’d been. I feel we parted on solid communication terms – I’d just sent her a newsy letter before vacation, and she had posted our postcard from NOLA on the top of her bookshelf. It was nice to phone sometimes, but Grandma’s hearing was going so the calls were short, plus a letter could be read and re-read several times.

Everyone who knew Grandma must have noticed how much she read – even as a little girl! Here’s a photo of Grandma with her older brother, we figure around 1924.

Grandma and Uncle Henry

She read newspapers, magazines and books – primarily modern works that kept her up to date on the world. She told me recently that there were too many real people and interesting events for her to spend time on fiction. I just started re-reading Notes from a Soujourner on the way back from the funeral, a special book she gave me, and it definitely reminds me of how she thinks about faith and life and the way paths cross and how sometimes even new places remind us of familiar things.

Grandma was actually a pretty humorous person – sometimes on purpose and sometimes not! For instance, she knew she couldn’t be having a heart attack (despite the obvious symptoms) because she didn’t have heart trouble. We joked that she was always so frugal – perhaps she couldn’t bear paying the cost of care herself when Medicare stopped covering hospice after two weeks. Our family was militant with two ongoing pranks at her house. The first was to turn the toilet paper so it was rolling the opposite way. It was a small thing, but she always noticed after our visit that we’d turned it around. Except once, I think Dad turned it then I went and unknowingly turned it back! After that we had to coordinate better. The other prank was about flipping the bird. Grandma had a terrarium scene with a little feathered bird in it. One day while walking by, I couldn’t resist the urge to turn the bird upside down with his little feet in the air. Well, I don’t know how long it was until Grandma noticed, but when she did she called and told us woefully that the bird had died. Until Grandma retired that terrarium, I think the poor bird died every time I visited. It was just a matter of when she’d notice, and if she’d say anything. Grandma loved a pun or word puzzle or cartoon or funny story too.

Family Christmas 2009

One really special memory that my brother and I share is an Easter when Grandma and Grandpa lived in Indy. They hid our easter baskets and ran string from them to the front door. The Easter Bunny left us a note – and of course white footprints (made of flour) – to tell us to follow the string to find our baskets. We zigged and zagged all over the condo until we found them. It was really cool. We also had some fun times decorating pumpkins for Halloween one year – I’m sure there’s a Polaroid to scan later that captures those.

Grandma did a lot of sewing. She didn’t make clothes, but she definitely specialized in “taking a tuck” so the clothes would fit. Grandma, Mom and I played a game for birthdays and Christmas – Susan had a twin. Conveniently, Susan’s twin was the same size as Susan, so of course she could stand-in to fit the clothes, allowing Grandma to take a tuck at the waist or hem the pants to make sure they fit. [Yes, even as a child I had trouble finding clothes that fit! I was spoiled to have a family tailor!] Occasionally Susan’s twin would even help pick out something that Susan would enjoy. That way Susan was always surprised by well-fitting clothes that were just her style and color, and all ready on her Birthday or Christmas!

Grandma, Mom and Susan

Grandma liked to take us on special trips. We went to the Neil Armstrong museum, the AF museum in Dayton, the Children’s Museum and Zoo. We also had a special treat when we visited – dipping a toothpick in peanut butter then assembling a slice of banana and a piece of Honecomb cereal into one perfect little sweet crunchy bite of snack. Of course we also ate plenty of Dairy Queen soft serve too. No wonder we often took a walk after dinner.

Grandma had spectacular patio gardens in the summer. I didn’t realize until starting to write this that my standard flower boxes of red geraniums and dusty miller reflect Grandma’s favorite color scheme for her flower boxes. In the winter, she was an avid basketball fan. Indiana High School ball, Big Ten ball, especially IU basketball – if there was a game, it was on the TV, and she knew all the players and coaches.

Brian and I will always measure our marriage against Grandma and Grandpa’s. Who lives long enough and stays married for 71 years? I can’t image how hard it was for her to be separated from Grandpa – they complemented each other. They spent so much of their lives taking care of one another, listening, talking through things, experiencing life together. Despite how much I’ll miss her, I have to smile knowing that Grandma is back with Grandpa after nearly two years of separation.

Grandma’s mom enjoyed butterflies. We were musing about how it all started, but my Grandma took it to a whole new level. She had suncatchers, pillows, notepaper, stickers, cards, etc. If you could get it with a butterfly, we pretty much did. It was so fitting then, that as we held the short graveside service, a butterfly was flitting about around the casket, as if to say “It’s ok, look, now I’m free!” as her parting words to us.